I am Baal and I have come to this
place for what I do not know. For how long remains to be seen. I know
not my purpose now, nor am I certain that I ever shall. I have the
truest failings in trusting my own mind. Trust. A word I do not believe
in.
My gaze casts from one place to the next. Trees, darkness,
mist all about me. My thoughts, they race but stay trapped in perpetual
misery. What purpose I have has yet to be revealed unto me.
Pale
lights fill the forest before me. I find myself following their faerie
thrall to stand before them. Pale shapes dancing in my fog shrouded
vision. Perhaps my existence does have a touch of meaning.
I see
it now, I see you all. But do you see me? The thought is strange. If it
came from my own twisted mind, I do not know. Nor do I care. All I know
is that I am here lost somewhere between twilight and dawn. In a
shrouded land without ending. A world of darkness it seems only I can
see, for those shimmering shapes seem to hold far too much joy to be a
part of my darkness.
I must question now as I watch them. Does
this world hold my demise? Or merely another step on my path to an
ending? I have been traveling so long I fear I have lost my way. Ones
beginning must always leads to their end. If so, then when is my own?
My
pain is sudden and fierce. I feel it rushing before me, a crushing sea
of misery. I will never find my way. I will always walk alone. Apart
though always surrounded.
Their glimmer...it calls and I know not how to resist. I find myself slipping closer, wanting to be a
part of the joy they hold. Knowing it cannot be.
There
is no sunlight in my world, only this feeding darkness ripping it's
feast from my soul. Tearing me down to nothing before it. But I still
stand. My will is weary though my mind is still a sharpened blade. I
will not be stopped. Not when I stand so close to them. Among them.
Innocence.
A paltry thing, though it beckons me so. How could one resist a light
so bright in their own burning darkness? I let my gaze wander over
them. Tried desperately to draw the joy and life from them to warm my
own dark heart.
My eyes focus on the small form of one, fast
asleep, off in what must be the most beautiful of dreams. I have only
contempt for you though my heart is rended with love for that
glittering spark of your life. The thought is cold, miserable.
I
hold only the darkest joy that the taint of my owns words shall never
sully the ears of innocence. Words are a thing I lost long ago. But the
lack does not stop my need. I want to tempt you, draw you, feed you to
my darkness.
Hold your loved ones close, and your own lives
closer for I wish only to take them. Destroy them for my own sick
gains. I want so badly to stop but I hold little faith in myself and
even less in others. They are all so trusting. Dancing about me,
unknowing of the cruel thoughts that fill my head.
I want only
to be stopped, freed from this damnable prison of my own mind. One of
them must hold the key to my escape, my salvation. I fear I shall never
know. That this life will go on and the misery will never end.
I
gaze quietly upon the small slumbering form. Sleep well little one, I
will hold my thoughts to my own for my tongue would wither should I
speak them. Such purity. I cannot resist the need to be near. I lay
beside you. Perhaps some of the warmth from your small, soft form will
fill me, give me peace.
