These next few journals are likely to be highly convoluted and confusing. That is because parts of his tale have been removed for lack of continuity. I apologize, but it works best in this fashion for now until I find a better way to rework his journals. All of these will be bits and pieces left over from after the big ruckus caused by the fawn plot. Baal's story was seriously destroyed when I could not finish it as intended. It will be heading in a new direction now. I hope everyone enjoys this new chapter when it finally begins to work into the story. Thank you.
It's raining again.
Raining in my head. I like the rain, makes me feel clean. Takes away the blood, the pain, the....rage... I do not know what I am doing anymore, or why I've returned. There is nothing for me here anymore.
For a moment, I thought I'd found love, friendship. Something...something to keep me sane. I was wrong. So terribly, terribly wrong. But leaving has done nothing for me. It has not filled the empty darkness. No. It did nothing for me at all and I know not what to think anymore or ever again.
So I am back. Back in this place, my misty heaven...hell... Black and white. Shades of gray. At least the rain fades the blood from my vision, sends the scarlet rivulets pouring away, into the clear, pale gray of the water's embrace.
Even the flowers have lost her scarlet touch. Ah little one, how I miss your guilt searing presence, your comforting kindness, forgiveness. I've lost you too, haven't I? Maybe...maybe I will find you again. Here. In my own private hell, darkling dungeon of no return.
It would only serve me right if I never witness you again little one. Even if my steps do guide me back. Back into the murky tears that first led me to destruction, salvation. I've lost that. I've lost it all.
Won't you save me, my little scarlet rose?
